Trump plans UFC birthday fight during downtime from war

President Donald Trump started a war that’s spinning out of control, just like our gas prices, but he’s focused on what really matters—his birthday bash and the UFC fight that is somehow supposed to celebrate America. According to Trump, who made time to talk to Axios about this because he is laser-focused on what matters, this is the “hottest ticket I’ve ever seen.” UFC president and Trump pal Dana White said it would be “the greatest fight card ever assembled.” The White House is definitely going all out for the spectacle of the thing. The UFC says this will all cost about $60 million, which it is covering, but it expects that about $30 million of that will be picked up by unnamed “corporate partners.” Earlier this month, Trump also said that he would build a stadium to accommodate 100,000 people, because apparently that’s a thing he thinks can just get knocked out in a couple months, no problem. However, because Trump no longer makes any sense most of the time, it isn’t clear if he thinks he is going to build a separate stadium or if he is referring to what the UFC is already doing. As far as getting into the hottest ticket around, perhaps the greatest fight card ever assembled, there are 5,000 VIP seats and 85,000 free tickets for non-special people to watch from the Ellipse. But many of the VIP seats are going to go to military personnel, leaving only a couple thousand precious seats for VIPs to fight over. Republicans eager to suck up to Trump have been begging for these tickets, and Trump is handling the ticket requests personally. Yes, the president of the United States is spending his time picking and choosing who to bestow cage match tickets upon. While there is a war. That he started. Republican operatives say big donors will get some of those VIP seats. Presumably, it will be the same sort of folks who are paying for the big dumb ballroom or his inauguration. You know the types: big tech executives, crypto grifters, pardon seekers. Real American heroes. Also getting tapped for this? Yes, it’s Paramount +, which landed UFC broadcast rights last year. While that deal was no doubt in the works before Paramount bribed Trump to ensure its merger with Skydance, the whole thing still feels shady. The administration is working so hard to make this the most spectacular of spectaculars, but it’s far more likely it will turn out like the military parade Trump demanded for his birthday last year: A poorly planned, expensive escapade designed for an audience of one. Related |Is Trump looking for a fall guy for his military parade flop? One of the reasons the UFC event might fall flat is that the actual fight card seems weak as hell. People who expected big names—and Trump stalwarts—like Conor McGregor and Colby Covington are hella disappointed. ESPN’s coverage of the lineup said that there “aren’t any mind-blowing fights” and that the card was “filled with solid, but unspectacular matchups.” One fighter on the card, the unranked Kyle Daukaus, even said that he didn’t even believe he should be on the card. Sure doesn’t sound like the fight of the century, but does that really matter when it will line Trump’s pockets somehow? And to think France moved the G7 summit for this.